The Little Things Matter

Looking Down 300x225 The Little Things MatterWhen’s the last time you told your spouse you loved them? Did you pick up your towel after your shower? Are there dirty clothes from yesterday still laying on the floor?

These are little things in life but when not done on a regular basis, they can turn into big things. Really, these are some of the things that people are fighting about in marriage counseling.

When you look at it that way it is easy to see that the small things do matter. If we understand that fact, then why are a lot of us either in a job we don’t like and not getting paid what we are worth, feeling stuck under a pile of debt and just scraping by, or even feeling like we will never get to the point where we can truly live?

It all starts with the small things which enable the big things in life to happen. You want more money left over at the end of the month? Think of all the small purchases you made last month, most of which were probably not needs. It’s the little things that are going to nickle and dime you to death.

How do you walk a mile? One step at a time. Don’t forget to take account of the little things you do, not doing so could be the factor that is holding you back from your dreams.

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3 Things To Try If Your Spouse Isn’t On Board

Hand 300x200 3 Things To Try If Your Spouse Isnt On BoardTrying to go the right direction in life is a great thing to do, especially when it comes to making a budget and living on a plan. But what if your significant other doesn’t want to go with you? I guess one option is to carry on and do things without them. And another may be to forget it and not go after something better for your family’s lives.

Here are 3 things to try to get your spouse on board or at least provide some ground for compromise:

  1. Stop focusing on the “what” and start talking about the “why”. What are the positive effects that doing this new thing will have on your family? Why do you feel this is a good thing?
  2. Make sure your spouse has the same information that you have. It’s really hard for someone to tell me what a book is about if they haven’t read it.
  3. More times than not, one of these first 2 things is the solution. If they don’t seem to work, time may be the missing ingredient. For most of us, change is hard. It may mean having to accept that what we have been doing all along has been wrong. Staying persistent is a good thing – but don’t sound like a barking chihuahua.

In my upcoming podcast I will be talking about turning your dreams into reality. With that will come a resource that you can download with questions to engage you and your spouse to talk about the direction you want to go in life. You don’t want to miss it. Sign up and have the updates of the blog and podcast sent to your email here.

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If Nothing Else, Do This With Your Finances

Holding Hands If Nothing Else, Do This With Your FinancesI recently wrote about divorce over at TheUnshakableMan.com, and with finances being one of the leading causes of divorce, if you do nothing else with your finances, you should at least do this…

By “this” I’m referring to agreeing on your finances. Something that I tell clients from time to time is that even if they do the opposite of what I recommend, it is crucial that they at least do it in unity with their spouse. Whether you are going the right or wrong way with your finances, you will be walking hand in hand with the one you love. Though I hate debt with a passion, the fact that a couple stays together because they agreed on something far outweighs the implications of the possible lack of wisdom in making the wrong decision in the first place.

One of the quickest ways to create communication with your spouse about your finances is to sit down and tell your money where to go before a new month begins. Basically this gives both of you a voice as to where the money should be going and it removes the guilt of spending any money because it has already been agreed that it can be spent. Need a little help? Check out this form.

Try it for 3 months. The benefits are endless.

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Dreaming Together

Dreaming Together1 300x199 Dreaming TogetherTrying to achieve your dreams can be challenging but it is well worth the hard work. One of the best ways to help in this process is to be on the same page with your spouse. I’m not talking about discussing when you are going to be home for dinner, it goes far beyond that and into the fine details of life. Here are some ways to get on the same page:

 

Get New Information

Information is key – especially when it comes to building the unity in your marriage.  Here are a couple of websites to check out that have just that: EngagedMarriage.com and OneExtraordinaryMarriage.com. The cool thing about these two sites is that they came together and made FitMarriage.com. All are great resources to improve your marriage in many ways.

My wife and I are getting ready to go through the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. There are endless solid books about marriage; be sure to pick one up for you and your spouse to go through.

Talk About More Than What’s For Dinner

What’s happening in life that is really frustrating you? (Try to stay away from the “why wasn’t the trash taken to the curb?’ or “that’s for dinner again?”) Having someone that has your back as you push through the frustrating times can mean the difference between making it through in one piece or not.

This works the same for the positive things in life. Are you wanting to change to a new career that fits you better? Wanting to start your own home based business? Want to come home to be with the kids? These are a few of the things that become a whole lot easier when you have someone to share your emotions with and talk the decisions through.

Spend Time Together Without Distractions

This can prove to be difficult when you have younger children. Especially when your youngest hasn’t switched over to a bottle yet. Speaking from experience, you do what you can with what you have to work with. It’s all about choosing to take little steps as opposed to doing nothing at all.

It is amazing at how many good quality conversations my wife and I have had over the years by sitting at a table in the corner of a coffee shop. These were conversations that literally changed the direction of our family and all for a couple of bucks (I guess that depends on what coffee shop you go to). My point is, it doesn’t take dressing up and a 5 course meal to know the heart of your spouse.

Any way that you look at it, taking steps to be closer with your spouse is one of the best things you can do to achieving your dreams. Knowing that the “my” dreams have now become “our” dreams can be the driving force needed to make them reality.

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Taking Christmas To The Next Level

How often do we hear about how superficial Christmas has become? You will probably hear this more often in the religious setting, but no matter what your view on Christmas is I think we all know that there is more to it than spending more money than we should on things that will fade away. Is buying stuff wrong? With moderation I don’t believe it is. One of the opportunities I have working with families is to lead them on a journey that will set them up to be abundant givers – not only during times such as Christmas, but [...]

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The Importance Of Discipline

As a parent you quickly find the need to integrate discipline when your toddler exercises their new found attitude. Now my question to you would be why? Why not just let them be so that they can figure things out for themselves? The answer is because we love them and want what’s best for them. I love my daughter so much – it is this love that motivates me to help her learn that the world doesn’t revolve around her, and to give her the character she needs to succeed in life. I find it amazing how interacting with our [...]

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They’re Walking In Your Footsteps

After looking at some pictures that were taken on a family outing it became very evident to me of how someone is walking in my footsteps. I think we all want to say that we are aware of this fact but looking at this photo of my daughter walking right behind me really brought things into perspective. This is a huge responsibility that I have been entrusted with and I want my daughter to glean from me all of the things that God has worked out in my life. This would be things like character, my spiritual walk, relationships with [...]

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